Taxi Driver Jokes
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A newbie night shift taxi lo was plying along Lim Chu Kang road hopping to pickup a passenger. He saw a pretty lady, long hair and wearing a red dress waving at his cab. He stopped and the lady hop into the taxi. As usual, he asked the lady, " Go where ", the lady said go Pasir Ris NTUC Resort. He was very happy, mid night charge + long distance charge, roughly about $35 he can make.
He turn into KJE and then PIE .... . In the cab, he look at the mirror and saw the lady close her eye and resting, he drives on and there were no conversation between him and the woman, everything was silent. Along PIE, he heard thunder storm, followed by heavy down pour, road was wet and slippery, vision very poor.
Suddenly, someone tap hard on his shoulder. He scream very loud, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a motor cyclist, cham brake cham buay hu and stopped just inches away from a big tree. For a few minutes, everything was very slient, and the taxi lo look at the rear mirror and saw his lady passenger, face green green and shivering, seat also wet, kia kah siam jio.
He said " Mdm, please do not tap on my shoulder, you scared the shit out of me " The lady reply " Uncle, I am sorry, I didn't know that tap on your shoulder could frighten off the shit out of you " The taxi lo said " It is totally not your fault, today is my first day driving a cab, I am driving hearse for the last 35 years.
Passenger, please do not tap on taxi lo shoulder, this may happen to you.
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A Japanese passenger stay at Miramar Hotel and wanted to go airport. The hotel helps him to book a cab.
A comfort sonata(made in korea) arrived, the cab driver help him to load up his lagguage. He hop into the cab and the driver drives on. The driver take the routes, havelock-outram-cantonment-keppel-ECP and all the way to airport. While driving along ECP, the Japanese wind down the window when he see a toyota crown cab speed pass and he shouted " Toyota Crown, very good and fast, made in Japan. The cab driver was stunt and keep quiet wondering what's going on with his passenger. Another toyota wish cab speed pass and he shouted, Toyota Wish, very good, make in Japan, then a honda freed speed past, he shout again, Honda, good make in Japan. The taxi driver ignore his crazy passenger and he drive on slowly and steady.
When reached the airport, the Japanese passenger asked the taxi driver, why the fare so expensive? The driver look at him and reply " Meter very fast, good, make in Japan".
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What happen if our TAXI driver behave like him?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TqNE5TYXQQ&feature=related
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Imagine you took a cab from clementi to airport and taxi driver behave like that?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kb-m-vxuV14&NR=1
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Subj: Revenge On A Cabdriver (S17, S611)
From Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97
and From: gattica30 on 9/26/2008A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to
gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing
left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip
ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get
himself home.The businessman went out to the front of the casino where
there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his
situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver
money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers,
his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no
avail.The cabbie said (adopt appropriate dialect), "If you don't
have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" The
businessman was forced to hitchhike to the airport and was
barely in time to catch his flight.One year later the businessman, having worked long and
hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas
and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about
himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a
cab ride back to the airport. Who should he see out
there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old
buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down
on his luck.The businessman thought for a moment about how he could
make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on
a plan. He got in the first cab in the line, "How much
for a ride to the airport," he asked? "Fifteen bucks,"
came the reply. "And how much for you to give me a blow-
job on the way?""What?! Get the hell out of my cab." The businessman got
into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the
same questions, with the same result. When he got to his
old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked
"How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied
"fifteen bucks." The businessman said "ok" and off they
went.As they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the
businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each
driver. -
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lol.
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This was posted in the jokes topic:
A cab driver picks up a lady one night, from a dark street. After she boards the taxi, the cab driver noticed that she is completely naked. She then asked him to take her to Geylang. He started to drive off and then began to wonder how she's going to pay him as she was'nt carry any purse or anything.
Uncle cabby: Excuse me miss, how are you going to pay me for the fare?
Nude lady: how about this (and started to spread her legs wide open)
Uncle,(turning around to look at what she offered) ;Do you have anything smaller?
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Ah Beng was on a motorbike with Ah Lian after a durian shopping trip.
Ah Lian was holding on to 2 big bags of durians when they rode over a hump, Ah Beng heard a loud bang. He asked Ah Lian: 'Lewlian wu kalau boh?(durians got dropped or not?).'
Ah Lian shouted: 'boh kalau lah!'
So Ah Beng continued with the journey. When they reached home, Ah Beng got down from his motobike and was shocked to see that Ah Lian was not wearing a helmet.
He asked Ah Lian: 'Where is your helmet?'
Ah Lian was very angry and replied: 'Just now I already told you 'boh kalau' (helmet drop)!' -
Originally posted by Vee4317l:
Ah Beng was on a motorbike with Ah Lian after a durian shopping trip.
Ah Lian was holding on to 2 big bags of durians when they rode over a hump, Ah Beng heard a loud bang. He asked Ah Lian: 'Lewlian wu kalau boh?(durians got dropped or not?).'
Ah Lian shouted: 'boh kalau lah!'
So Ah Beng continued with the journey. When they reached home, Ah Beng got down from his motobike and was shocked to see that Ah Lian was not wearing a helmet.
He asked Ah Lian: 'Where is your helmet?'
Ah Lian was very angry and replied: 'Just now I already told you 'boh kalau' (helmet drop)!'
I get the joke but where is the taxi driver?? -
Originally posted by Darkknighthuang:
I get the joke but where is the taxi
driver??I'm a Taxi driver tell a joke, so call taxi driver joke. can or not ????
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Originally posted by Vee4317l:
I'm a Taxi driver tell a joke, so call taxi driver joke. can or not ????
Hahaha good one
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Originally posted by Vee4317l:
I'm a Taxi driver tell a joke, so call taxi driver joke. can or not ????
haha can bro, anytin also can~~~~~